March is not a good month....

Sunday, 23rd March 2008; 4.30pm:

I got 2 missed calls from Daniel (my sister's boyfriend) but i wasnt free to pick up his calls... i called back but no one picked up the phone.. a minute later, my dad called me and i sensed something was not right.... He was emotional and told me that my mum had an accident... i was stoned and speechless for minutes... what happened?Dad just said that mum was in hospital waiting for report and doctor and likely need to amputate her finger... tears were flowing non-stop... i could sense dad was sad and trying not shed any tear and forced himself to remain calm...

I couldnt focus on my work anymore.. was trying to remain calm as well ... got to know that mum would undergo operation at 7.30 and the ops would be completed by 9.00pm.. all i did was applying for EL to be home with my family to support her... i am fortunate as my superior is supportive.. so do all my colleagues..

My mind was blank and i got a sms from a friend, who offered to send me to the hospital once i reached KL. He did a great favour to me.. Thank you! i gotta mixed feeling.. it was not easy to accept this.. all we could do now is to give mum full support and encouragement...

Sunday, 23rd March; 9.30pm:

Reached hospital... i was trying hard to hold back my tears but when i saw Daniel and my cousin i couldnt help but cried... i was so useless. i couldnt let mum saw my crying baby face ... cousin was right ... all mum needs now is encouragement .... must be strong...

We went up to the ward and i saw mum ... was holding back my tears again ... must be tough... mum's finger was amputated.... i know she was sad at that time.. but she was showing us positive reaction ... saying it was all right... just a finger ... no big deal.. but i know deep inside it 's not easy for her to accept this.......cos i myself cant accept it for now... time will slowly heal the wound ... it already happened ... gotta get over it... and move on.....

Since Monday - Wednesday ... been in and out of hospital visiting mum... finally on Wed, mum was discharged from hospital.. she needs time to recover ...The wound is pain ....

I'm worried for dad as well for he didnt really have enough sleeps last few days ...

hope dad will be strong.... we have to take care of mum and all house chores now onwards... washing, cooking ... being a full time house wife is not something easy tho....

Many relatives and friends sent mum regards and visited mum... mum is tough ... but when she was revealing the incident to my auntie.. she cried and i was so heart broken seeing her suffering all these......

Time past vry quickly and it's Friday today... and i gotta return back to work tomorrow so i gotta leave home.. i know mum is sad as i was leaving home just now i could see her crying... on my way back i tried to sleep but i couldnt sleep.. will try not to think too much~ but then a close friend called me and i couldnt help but broke into tears again...feel so useless......But luckything is my sis is tough and strong... she is calm and able to handle things well... i must learn to be like her... i know we must b strong and cannot tumble now... Moving forward.. gotta be a tough time for us.... we must be strong to brave through this....

Separate incident:

Yesterday, i banged into the back door of my house and knocked on my forehead... dah bengkak now... and just now while i was disembarking from the bus......i slipped and fell down ... hurt my upper back ..swollen now... it 's pain ..but i think the pain i am enduring now is nothing compared to the pain that my mum endures now.... i 'll be strong ....

Thanks for all friends who gave me and my family all the supports during these periods.....I will take care .. and be postive....

Fish's Life so far...

Chinese New Year just ended… Couldn’t believe that it ended so fast… 15 days just gone... Maybe I was so busy with working life.... Finally this week completed most of my stuff and getting free time again =) Happy!
I do realise that time does pass very fast ever since working up here… I just don’t know why… Even my colleague agrees with me on this.. She also yet unable to answer this…
Well, at least during Chinese New Year, I get to enjoy the time spent with family members… Though short, but happy moments! :)

I started to work on the 3rd day of CNY.. No choice as there was a meeting to attend... Ever since, been keeping myself busy with work.. work… work.. and work…. In between fell sick, recovered and fell sick. Lucky, I am fully recovered … with a good news ... losing 3kgs in weight.. Am so happy about that! My next target is to put down few kgs :) ...Colleagues saying I am not as chubby as before... is a happy news hahahaha … think every gal likes this kind of comment. ... And will definitely help me to be more determined in losing weight! But I have no idea how I managed to do that... By all means… just luck! But definitely will keep it up! :)

Last week…

Finally after 6 months, I met them again.. Sook Yin and MC came up to Genting to pay me a visit… we did have great time having our dinner and catching up on things that happened… well of cos only few hours … but we did talk a lot .. as usual la.. before CNY I did look chubby …haha only recently I slimmed down.. dunno why … well .. maybe .. becos of that gua.. no comment =)

She looks prettier of cos .as usual la … I promised to meet them up more regularly next time when I am back to KL, at least hope our next meeting up wont be 6 months later…. So next month when I am back to KL, please bring me to taste the Thais food @ Shamelin ya …

After Chap Goh Meh, I went home on Saturday to attend my auntie’s 70th birthday…and I was happy to see her being so happy… with all her children being there to witness this moment.. It has been quite sometimes I didn’t meet my auntie as well as other cousins.. enjoyed the dinner and had great time. On Sunday morning, I met with 3 of my best friends who are close to each other since Form 4 and one of them is back from Japan.. Before she is leaving back to Japan, just grabbed some time to meet her up else gotta wait for another one year before we’ll meet again. It was 7 something in the morning ...And we went to have breakfast at Sri Petaling and had chit chat to catch up with each other... Though we seldom meet, we are glad to be still close to each other and have endless topics to talk bout.. just that we had limited time to spend … I realised that I talked less too, too tired and mind was thinking bout works .. cant get rid of working life even on my day-off.. hate myself for this.. not a very good habit!
No doubt we did have good times… actually, it doesn’t really matter whether we met up regularly or just once a year of what-so-ever, our relationship / bond is still as strong as ever…
Only today, I sit down and putting on a deep thought on what have happened these 2 months …

Beginning of year 2008…

I have been receiving bad news ever since 2008 kicked off. An uncle of mine passed away last month... His demise was caused by cancer. He had been suffering for few months. Gotta know bout this late Oct last year... and 3 months later, he was gone to the far away after life world. Was upset for few weeks…. Couldn’t accept the fact that he actually left us. Well, all these are fated. 生 死 由 天 註 定﹐I am going to miss him for now …. He was the uncle who witnessed my growing up’s journey... as his wife is my nanny...Both of them love my sister and me a lot when we were young… Well, God loves him more … A heartbreaking moment

Then another bad news came in few weeks later, well no doubt that incident hurt me badly and affected my life for weeks… lucky that I have great friends around me to support me and walked together with me during that dark moments... When I looked back now it is not a big deal at all... And whatever unhappiness caused by this incident no longer bother me now, as I know there is no use crying over spilled milk… though I do think that till now I am still unable to let it go, as I keep making myself to work work and work.. Just to spend more time in office working and keep myself busy I will forget this easily... but I believe one day time will heal this wound... as 有 人 說, 時 間 可 以 讓人 忘 記 些 我 們 不 想 忘 記 的 事…. which is true… the more I want to forget bout it, the tougher it’ll be for me to forget it... so just treat it with 平 常 心, 時 間 會 幫 我 把他 和 它 都 忘 掉! What are most important to me now are my family, friends, career… I will rather spend more time to focus on my career now... No matter what…應 該 謝謝 他 因 為 他 曾 經 走 進 我 的 生 命, 帶 給 我 一 段 很 美 好 的 回 憶…

Last week, I received another bad news…. A friend conveyed a news to me saying one of our friends is suffering from cancer… Cancer again? I was shocked to hear that… as she is so young, couldn’t be the truth.. but no matter how I must accept the truth. I was speechless …… Amelia, if you are reading this… be strong.. and be strong.. We will support you.. Don’t ever give up...This is the 2nd bad news I heard in a month. The other is about another friend.. a coursemate of mine, who I hardly keep in touch with.. I just happened to flip through a magazine and read bout his illness… it’s been 4 years and no improvement… Able to call him up 2 days ago and have a short conversation… He is suffering I know and I know that I wont be able to understand the pain that he is enduring now and the pain that he had gone through these 3 years… while most of us are trying to chase and aim to achieve our dreams .. he is suffering all these while… Weng Chong, 你一 定 要加油, 不 要輕易放棄! Things are so unpredictable in life, sigh!

However, there is good news as well. Another wedding bell is ringing soon.. and 3 days ago I received a call from a Hong Kong friend, and am so glad to see her being happy again.. Great to know that she is more positive now and her health has improved a lot… Over the phone, I could hear her laughter and I know she is doing fine and happy … Keep it up Gina!

Moving forward…

I told myself to be strong as well…to all who worries bout me.. I will take good care of myself... Thanks for all the concerns...
Am looking forward to be back to hometown in April, hopefully and then in May looking forward for you to be back ya from UK and we shall head to Penang … :)

No worries I am again a cheerful fish =) …

More updates coming soon …

陌路

By chance, i got to hear this song over the radio just now and it seems to be describing my feeling.. sometimes i am confused.... stranger.. so close yet so far? ? ? ?

Maybe i should just forget about it!

作曲：雷颂德 作词：林夕 编曲：雷颂德


这世界到处也有面善路人
擦过了多少脚印 谁人能合衬
远或近 最终都可接吻
有人 便有美满人生

喜欢你 无奈再见到你已像陌路人
情能够陷到几深 这么近 这么近
却彷似相差一世 至少 分手也甘心

我怎可能离不开 捱到现在
人潮里面学会等待
那次偶遇你的爱 你不爱 我肯爱
还有很多个对手相爱
纵使感情离不开 人已不在
如能瞑目后便看开
对我最大的感慨 你不爱 他会爱
可惜他也许 与我擦过于沧海

重遇你 发觉你再美也像面善路人
而怀缅又有几真 这么远 这么远
却彷似相差一吻
至少 客气得可亲

我怎可能离不开 捱到现在
人潮里面学会等待
那次偶遇你的爱 你不爱 我肯爱
还有很多个对手相爱
纵使感情离不开 人已不在
如能瞑目后便看开
对我最大的感慨 你不爱 他会爱
可惜他也许 与我擦过于沧海

而其实我早应该 绝口不说旧爱
否则怎显得死性肯改
从前受够了伤害 若得到有人爱
幸福点也应该
我怎可能离不开 捱到现在
人们碰面后便散开
那次偶遇你的爱 你不爱 我肯爱
还有很多个对手相爱
纵使感情离不开 人已不在
如能瞑目后便看开
对我最大的感慨
你不爱 他会爱
可惜他也许 与我擦过于沧海

错过了这接力赛

It’s Me? 99% Accuracy… It’s ME! (By Astrology.com)

You are always questioning and learning, and you seem young and alive no matter what your chronological age, for your mind is always alert, curious, flexible and open to new experiences. You have a childlike enthusiasm for anything new and you learn easily, but you also get bored rather quickly. You can be something of a scatterbrain, for you tend to have so many ideas and irons in the fire that it is hard to keep track of them all. You need and crave variety, change, mental stimulation, and an active social life.

Quiet, deep, emotionally complex and intensely private, you are not a person who is easy to get to know and understand. You are extremely sensitive but disinclined to show it, and you allow only a special few into your inner world. Like a wary animal, you are cautious and mistrustful of those you do not know until you "sniff them out". You are very, very instinctive and intuitive. You usually have a strong, immediate gut reaction to people, even though you may be unable to clearly articulate why you feel as you do. Your feelings and perceptions go deeper than words.

Having sleeping problem again...

This time round, i am experiencing the same thing that had been haunting me for long last time. However, it seemed to disappear from my diary long time ago... but now it comes back again! A thing called "insomnia"!

I am having sleepless nights again. Not once, twice or thrice but countless nights i guess... eve since i turned 26. =p ..been telling a friend bout this and she was laughing at me by saying i cant accept to be 26.. hmmm not FUNNY! haha!

What is the cause? In fact i have reduced the intake of caffeine.. from 3-4 cups of cofffee a day to 1 cup or sometimes not taking any in a day. "Teh tarik" is another culprit now..i realised!

Some said it is due to the bad weather up here.. and some said I could have bumped into "Something" ..feeling eerie and scary.. we call this as "X-File" here.. maybe though as lesser people living at my floor, most have been moving to live at new block...
Arghh... maybe i shall shut my mind off and keep concentrating in counting sheeps, thinking bout dreaming and feeling sleepy ..maybe i can sleep, can i ??

Wonder if i can have a good night sleep tonight. =p
Anyone can suggest a solution? I just need one night of good sleep will do.

Fish needs to zzzZZ .... S.O.S!

Happy to meet back

You make me happy and you make me sad
You make me smile and you make me cry
You show me the light and you put me in the dark yet again
But yet I know I am happier than ever
But yet I know I am being cheerful than ever

What would have happened without your appearance?
Oh yes….
Life will still go on, journey will still go on
With me sailing quietly through the rough sea
But I know I will miss out a lot along the journey
Thanks for being here now...

Laughter and tears are inevitable in life
Every laughter and tear makes life different
Thank you for all the laughter and tears that you bring to me
I cherish every moment
And I know it will go on and many more to come
I appreciate all cares shown and thanks for appearing in my life once again after so long
I used to be naïve but now, I am not
I used to be stubborn but now, I am not or do I still?
We’ve grown up and we’ve changed a lot
All changes are for good I know

When it comes it will come
I believe if things are meant to be, they are meant to be
I believe in faith and fate
When it is meant to happen, it will happen
Just believe it will come true.
Thanks for all the magic moments and I am looking forward
The moment will come…
Time will tell…and when it comes we shall celebrate and appreciate it…



Hmmm just out of my mind I felt like scribbling something here and I never know that I can actually write a short poem.. if this is considered as one =p…
Now I know that when the mood is right I can actually write.. shall I try to start to write short stories then ..i wonder… =p

Sailing.....

Out of the sudden I am listening to Rod Stewarts' songs again ...and this song has been my favourite till now .....

I am sailing, I am sailing,
Home again cross the sea.
I am sailing, stormy waters,
To be near you, to be free.
I am flying, I am flying,
Like a bird cross the sky.
I am flying, passing high clouds,
To be with you, to be free.

Can you hear me, can you hear me
Thro the dark night, far away,
I am dying, forever trying,
To be with you, who can say.

Can you hear me, can you hear me,
Thro the dark night far away.
I am dying, forever trying,
To be with you, who can say.

We are sailing, we are sailing,
Home again cross the sea.
We are sailing stormy waters,
To be near you, to be free.

Oh lord, to be near you, to be free.
Oh lord, to be near you, to be free,
Oh lord.